My name is Sam Jolman and I may be a descendent of pirates. My last name is dutch for sailor. The Jol (or Yawl) boat was a cousin to the Yacht. And the first peg leg swashbuckler ever was a guy named Cornelius Jol. While I’ve been known to be a bit salty and curse like a sailor from time to time, I am not a pirate by trade.

I am a therapist and an author who helps people get life back. And by that I mean I want you to get your heart back. Because the heart is where all life happens. I fully believe that life is a journey of the heart served by the mind.

Yes, you’ve got the organ in your chest thumping away its rhythm, pumping blood to keep you alive. But you have the other heart, the center of your desires, the place you dream and desire, love and hurt. That’s the real you, the truest you. And that heart is worth your attention.

I write to get to the heart of things. I focus on sexual wholeness, trauma recovery, and the Christian story of life. Because if we don’t get to the heart of things, nothing really matters. I hope my writing helps you find your heart again too.

I write a lot about the heart of healthy sexuality, especially male sexuality. Because I believe a man’s sexuality, even more than his spirituality, is the most neglected part of his life. And when our dominant picture of a sexual man is the male sex addict, we lost the heart of male sexuality. God meant something really good when he made men’s sexuality and blessed it in Eden. We haven’t lost that original blessing but it’s buried in the fall of man and in your story too. I want to help men recover the virile and alive sexuality.

As a therapist, I get the wild privilege of sitting in a front row seat on the lives of many people. The human heart is an absolute thing of wonder. It’s always amazing to watch the real drama of human love and living unfold. After 20 years of doing this, themes emerge that start to make greater sense. I try to bring those here.

Because of this seat, I also talk about trauma recovery a lot too. I have my master’s in counseling from Reformed Theological Seminary and was trained in narrative focused trauma care through the Allender Center at The Seattle School of Theology and Psychology. This attachment based, story focused approach to trauma recovery honors the extravagant design of the human heart.

Why subscribe?

I work hard to bring you quality and helpful writing.

Every subscriber gets a copy of my ebook Story Formed: Recover the Self You Lost Once Upon a Time on how to heal trauma through story work. We all make meaning of life through stories. If I ask you tell me about anything that matters to you, eventually you’ll tell me stories about it. Your job or how you met your wife or what your kids are like or why you live where you live or why you believe in God. In sharing our stories where the heart is revealed. Story is the currency of relationship, the way we relate within anyone.

Our trauma gets held in stories too. Mostly subconscious and stored in our bodies. But the realm of evil really wants to narrate to you there. TO engage your story is go beyond simply naming the facts of what happened. It’s not an intellectual exercise, but a bodily one.

Become a Supporter

Paid subscribers get an invite to monthly conversations on my posts. Its a time for me us to dialogue on what I’ve written. And supporting this publication empowers me to dedicate more life and time to writing. For those that want to support others who can’t afford it, become a patron supporter and donate as much as you’d like. I will give away subscriptions for all the extra donated.

If you don’t have the means to become a paid subscriber but want to join the conversation more, let me know and I’ll give you a subscription. No questions asked.

Thank you for reading. I look forward to the conversations we have together.

Subscribe to the heart of it

A publication on sexual wholeness, trauma recovery, and the Christian story. I write to find the pulse of the human heart amidst it all. Get my book Story Formed free for signing up.


Sam Jolman

Lover, Father, Therapist, Writer. Forthcoming Book: The Sex Talk You Never Got (Nelson Books, June 11, '24). I help people get life back.