Thanks for writing on this. I certainly relate to Ben. M soothed a very lonely childhood. And M actually served me as a way to leave porn. (I jumped to M when I sensed my brain was about to go offline and ‘automatically’ or robotically turn to porn. The resulting chemical release staved off the actual visual search. Porn free for 5 years now. I guess I saw M as the lesser evil. And now that I understand the underlying issues I was trying to soothe I use M with much less frequency. The little boy is growing up. I also never did feel guilty if I was able to M and just enjoy the sensual pleasure of it and not involve fantasy that took advantage of someone or took away connection with my wife. Admittedly that is not easy. But there have been times when it has been completely enjoyable with no guilt. I love my body and how it was created. I haven’t always felt that way.
Sam you write so well on these challenging issues. Such good explanations, examples thru story, and a tone that conveys empathy for the reader. I Learned new things and felt less alone as a result - addressed questions I’ve been reluctant to share.
Finally some real depth and truth wrapped in grace on the topic from the "non-judgemental" Christian side of the coin. What an oxymoron. Well done Sir...like all your writings it's open minded. I love how it shows we are lost in our description of sin sometimes. It's healthy exploration. I can get behind it!
Hi, Sam. I appreciate your desire to avoid going beyond what Scripture teaches. At the same time, I think your attempt at nuance has unintentionally muddied the waters, at least a little bit. I'd be curious to hear how you would interact with this piece on masturbation, which I think comes at the topic from a different (but still wise) angle: https://www.thisisfoster.com/p/is-masturbation-sinful
Well, muddying the waters was fully intentional on my part. Ha! You're welcome?
I read the other article and can respect this author draws a different line in the sand. Truly bless his conscience for it. But I am more careful to not falsely bind the body or the will and lay burdens on the backs of God's people. Even in the passage this writer quotes from Paul (1 Corinthians 7), Paul himself repeatedly says "I am saying this, not the Lord..." to not overburden people with sexual advice that could be taken as command. I love Paul's heart here: to be cautious around sexuality to not shame or bind folks where God does not.
Yes, I believe sex is for one man, one woman, one marriage. But since no overt command stands against masturbation (especially since the Bible does for other forms of sexual expression including lust), I am cautious to make such a black and white "Its sin" statement. I'll stand in the muddy waters I've created. Of course, masturbation can be a part of sin, if it arises from lust. And if someone develops a separate sex life away from their partner, that too can be sin. But to simply say "all masturbation is sin, period "goes beyond what I believe God does.
Thanks for writing on this. I certainly relate to Ben. M soothed a very lonely childhood. And M actually served me as a way to leave porn. (I jumped to M when I sensed my brain was about to go offline and ‘automatically’ or robotically turn to porn. The resulting chemical release staved off the actual visual search. Porn free for 5 years now. I guess I saw M as the lesser evil. And now that I understand the underlying issues I was trying to soothe I use M with much less frequency. The little boy is growing up. I also never did feel guilty if I was able to M and just enjoy the sensual pleasure of it and not involve fantasy that took advantage of someone or took away connection with my wife. Admittedly that is not easy. But there have been times when it has been completely enjoyable with no guilt. I love my body and how it was created. I haven’t always felt that way.
SO GOOD! Thank you for sharing James!
Very insightful, as usual. I need to read parts of it more carefully again.
Oh, thank you. Glad it spoke... (and yes it was a long read!)
Thank you for writing on this oft misunderstood topic.
You are so welcome! It definitely felt like a risk to write it, knowing I might be misunderstood.
Thank you for writing this article. It affirms some of my thoughts and feelings.
So glad Fred! Well done on doing some wise reflecting.
Brave post!
I'll take that blessing! Thank you.
Sam you write so well on these challenging issues. Such good explanations, examples thru story, and a tone that conveys empathy for the reader. I Learned new things and felt less alone as a result - addressed questions I’ve been reluctant to share.
"Less alone"... WOOHOO!
Finally some real depth and truth wrapped in grace on the topic from the "non-judgemental" Christian side of the coin. What an oxymoron. Well done Sir...like all your writings it's open minded. I love how it shows we are lost in our description of sin sometimes. It's healthy exploration. I can get behind it!
Hi, Sam. I appreciate your desire to avoid going beyond what Scripture teaches. At the same time, I think your attempt at nuance has unintentionally muddied the waters, at least a little bit. I'd be curious to hear how you would interact with this piece on masturbation, which I think comes at the topic from a different (but still wise) angle: https://www.thisisfoster.com/p/is-masturbation-sinful
Well, muddying the waters was fully intentional on my part. Ha! You're welcome?
I read the other article and can respect this author draws a different line in the sand. Truly bless his conscience for it. But I am more careful to not falsely bind the body or the will and lay burdens on the backs of God's people. Even in the passage this writer quotes from Paul (1 Corinthians 7), Paul himself repeatedly says "I am saying this, not the Lord..." to not overburden people with sexual advice that could be taken as command. I love Paul's heart here: to be cautious around sexuality to not shame or bind folks where God does not.
Yes, I believe sex is for one man, one woman, one marriage. But since no overt command stands against masturbation (especially since the Bible does for other forms of sexual expression including lust), I am cautious to make such a black and white "Its sin" statement. I'll stand in the muddy waters I've created. Of course, masturbation can be a part of sin, if it arises from lust. And if someone develops a separate sex life away from their partner, that too can be sin. But to simply say "all masturbation is sin, period "goes beyond what I believe God does.